We have all heard of Girl Code at one point in our lives. It wasn’t until last Spring that I noticed I’ve only heard of this code in context of not hooking up or flirting with someone. I was with an ex-friend, and out of nowhere she said: “I guess girl code doesn’t exist within her morals.” This was an obvious jab at another one of our friends who had hooked up with my ex-friend’s crush. While I agree that it may not be the best idea to hookup or get with friends’ exes, Girl Code is so much more than that.
When I think of Girl Code I think of uplifting, encouraging, and being there for other women. I experience Girl Code when my best friend continuously checks in on me while I’m on a date with a new guy or when I’m feeling down. Girl Code happened when my 17-year-old self was being harassed on the train and another girl put herself in danger to stand up for me because I was too scared to do it. It happened at my very first college party when a fellow freshman was drunk and a bunch of upper-class males were trying to take her home, but a group of girls put a stop to it and walked her back to her dorm. Then they checked on her the next morning with a Starbucks latte.
Too often I hear women at my school pride themselves on their understanding of this code when it comes to “exes are off limits.” But I never see them implement it when a fellow woman is obviously in a dangerous or uncomfortable position. It’s great that you didn’t sleep with your friend’s ex when you had a chance to do so, but where was your belief in this code when that girl ran out of that frat party crying and her clothes were completely disheveled.
Girl Code does not always have to involve situations in which women are in danger or in an uncomfortable position. It can be when you let a girl know she looks really good in that dress, or when you let her vent and just listen. At the end of the day, Girl Code is about empowering each other and being there for one another. Even if we’re not friends.
Edited by Ayoko Djisseglo.
Images by Billie and Gemma Chua-Tran from Unsplash.
