Once I’ve graduated high school, I thought I’d never have to hear the expressions: “he popped her cherry” and “she got deflowered”. It was upsetting enough then and even more so now. For one, why are we equating someone’s virginity and hymen to food? And why are we portraying a woman’s first sexual intercourse as her losing something? The expression “popping her cherry” is not only outdated but it also portrays a woman’s first sexual intercourse as painful and horrific.
You can’t break or pop a hymen, and you certainly don’t lose it. It does not disappear after you have sex, it remains a part of your body. There is a misconception that the hymen is a layer that entirely covers the vaginal and that it’s inside the vagina. The truth is: the hymen is a thin membrane that only slightly covers the vaginal opening or even only surrounds the vaginal opening; it’s shaped like a crescent. If it covered the entire vaginal opening, then how would menstruation blood flow out? The answer is: it wouldn’t be able to. This is not to say that all hymens only slightly cover the vaginal opening.
The thing about hymens is that there isn’t a “normal” one, just like there is no “normal” vagina. Hymens vary in size, shape, elasticity, and thickness. There are a couple of types of hymens so to speak. The most common one being shaped like a crescent and only slightly covering the vaginal opening. The other types being Imperforate Hymen, Microperforate Hymen, Septate Hymen and no hymen at all.
Imperforate Hymen
This is the type of hymen that completely covers the vaginal opening. In result, menstrual blood is not able to flow out. People with an Imperforate Hymen are able to surgically repair it so that menstrual blood is able to flow out.
Microperforate Hymen
A Microperforate Hymen almost completely covers the vaginal opening except for a small opening which allows menstrual blood to flow out. Although inserting a tampon may not be possible and even if inserted, a person may not be able to take it out due to the very small opening. Microperforate Hymens can be surgically repaired as well.
Septate Hymen
A Septate Hymen is similar to a Microperforate Hymen in that it almost completely covers the vaginal opening. Except instead of one small opening, it has two small openings due to an extra band of tissue. Like with a Microperforate Hymen, inserting and removing a tampon can be very difficult or impossible, this too can be repaired through a surgical procedure.
No Hymen
Yes, some people are born without a hymen. And this is not, and should not be thought of as, abnormal. Not having a hymen does not mean one is not a virgin. The presence or absence of a hymen should not define someone’s statue of virginity. Not to mention that losing one’s virginity can mean different things for different people.
Images by Amie Dawson, Jan Zhukov, and Murilo Bahia from Unsplash.
